Life itself was about to change in so many ways.
And we were so ready for it, or so we thought. We got everything we needed, rooms done, and house clean. We’re taking our baby home, what could possibly go wrong? We were talking ourselves up, but I’m sure like any other parents you know something could go wrong. To our luck a lot went wrong. Grayson started latching wrong, making mama’s nipples so sore, bleed, and scab. But, I was doing it for my baby and our bonding experience, and of course the benefits from breastfeeding. I literally cried the whole time. Us moms have those crying moments and that’s ok, me, I probably have them a little more then normal. If you know my mom though, now that’s a crier, so I’m a pretty normal crier compared to her. Haha
I ended up having a lactation consultant come to the house. She helped a lot with showing me how to get him to latch properly. To top it off, I have an inverted nipple, so it was making it very, very difficult at times. Any other mama’s have this issue? So the lactation consultant suggested a nipple shield. As much as I didn’t want to, only because I heard of nipple confusion with that, pacifiers, and bottle nipples. But, the nipple shield was a God send. It truly helped and kind of gave my sore, cracked nipple a little break. Also he did better with it. I got excited we found something and I definitely thought it’d start looking up from here. Yep not so much. He ended up choking a lot in his sleep or just laying down flat. We later found out he had severe acid reflux. It is the worse thing to have to see him go through. He would choke so bad that I slept sitting up against the wall, while holding him up on my chest with pillows all around us. I honestly slept like that for a good 2 to 2 1/2 months with him. No joke. My neck and back killed some mornings, but I knew my son was ok, and that’s all that mattered. Anyways, we’ll come back to his reflux issue.
After about 2 weeks of bringing him home, we went in for his doctors appointment. We then found out I wasn’t producing enough breast milk and was basically starving my baby. I hate to put it that way, but that’s basically what was happening. Not on purpose of course, but he had lost so much weight. I truly felt like the most horrible mom ever. When I heard I wasn’t giving him enough milk and he had lost so much weight since birth. I, of course, broke down and cried my eyes out, yes in front of the doctor and all. We had thought his crying so much was his acid reflux bothering him. Now, knowing this made me think it was cause he wasn’t getting enough to fill his little belly. Worse thing a mother could hear and experience. And, I was even doing everything the lactation consultants said to do. I was pumping every 3 hours to get my supply going, eating foods, and drinking drinks that were suppose to help increase. I was doing everything under the sun. Come to find out it’s due to having PCOS. Low milk supply is another lovely symptom from PCOS. So, the doctor thought it would be best to supplement on top of giving him mommy milk. We did that and the first time he took a bottle, my sweetie was so content and full and slept so peacefully. Made me feel better knowing it satisfied him. As much as I wanted to exclusively breastfeed, it didn’t really work out that way and I came to terms with that. For the benefit of my son, I did what I felt was best at that time, whether it be formula or not. Now-a-days you just hear bad about formula fed babies. Makes them fat, makes them this, makes them that. Back in the day babies died because the only source of nutrients for them was breast milk and there were moms like me who couldn’t produce enough and didn’t have another option. So, I thank God for it, and I will forever have a better view and understanding for formula fed babies, because you never know the situation. Yes, breastfeeding is what God intended; it’s beautiful and baby gets better benefits from it, and I don’t disagree with all that. Let’s all just have an open mind about both, because it truly saved my baby boy. Just being able to feed your baby and provide it for him, whether bottle or boob, it is a beautiful thing! I later just went exclusively with formula as I was still not producing what I should have been.
Back to the reflux issue, now that he was eating more it only got worse. We ended up getting sent to a specialist in another state. The visit with them seemed promising, and they prescribed him medicine and a new formula called Nutramigen. Seemed to help a little bit, but he definitely struggled everyday, and we could never really lay him flat. Our poor sweetie pie was on medicine at an early age. It wasn’t what we ideally wanted for him, but, like I said, you have to do what’s best for your child and this was it. It was definitely a rough start for him, but he has been a fighter since. God has been by his side without a doubt!
Our next worry was how long will our baby have to suffer with this??